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Jennifer Kogan, MSW, RSW, LICSW

Compassion Focused Counseling and Consultation in Washington, DC and Ontario, Canada

  • About
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling and Psychotherapy
    • Couple Counseling
    • Commitment and Pre-Marital Counseling
    • New Parent Counseling
    • Family Consultation
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No risk is the biggest risk

December 13, 2020 by Jennifer Kogan

Risk :  the possibility of loss or injury which can lead to Peril 

When we experience a flash of fright it can set off alarm bells inside us. This feeling of danger or peril feels real but often it actually harkens back to our pre-historic ancestors who had to be constantly on guard to avoid being killed by a saber-toothed tiger. In modern times, we might actually feel like we will indeed die if we do something that makes us feel exposed or vulnerable in any way. In fact, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with those we trust leads to connection, love and indeed, courage.

Recently, someone I know shared that they had their therapist’s contact information for a long time before reaching out. They reflected that something that had felt so scary turned out to actually be just what they needed. They felt freer and more content despite the current state of the world. This made me wonder what needs to happen for any one of us to make that call, send that email, take a risk. Below is a list of fears and what may stop one from taking a risk and the benefits of taking a leap of faith,

Fears:

  1. Fear of being judged
  2. Fear of not being heard or seen or understood
  3. Fear of what might be uncovered during therapy
  4. Feeling shame or a sense of “unworthiness”
  5. Feeling other people’s problems are worse than ours
  6. Feeling I should just get over it myself.

Risk Benefits:

  1. joy
  2. humor
  3. relief
  4. freedom
  5. curiosity
  6. no judgment
  7. healing
  8. shifting our point of view to one that is more kind and compassionate towards ourselves
  9. connection to our mind and body
  10. Being with and feeling one’s feelings
  11. more space to dream
  12. more space to decide how one wants to act vs. react
  13. Being our own safe place.

While it is true that staying in your own psychic, mental and heart space will keep you safe in a way, the danger of no risk is that you will miss the rich, messy experience of life with fellow explorers in and around the terrain that is your heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Couples, Individuals, Uncategorized Tagged With: connection, fear​, feelings, healing, heart, risk, Shame, Vulnerability

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Jennifer Kogan, MSW, RSW, LICSW

(514) 386-9921
jkogan [@] jenniferkogan.com

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